Well its been almost 3 weeks since the devastating news about our failed transfer and it hasn’t been easy. We had the opportunity to go out to the lake, ignore the world, and just exist with our dogs so we took it. But even that didn’t start off well.. the first night we were there, our dogs were outside doing dog things and we fell asleep on the couch for a few hours. When we woke up around 11pm we decided to go to bed and went outside to get the dogs. That’s when we discovered Righley (our border collie) was no where to be found. We looked everywhere but she was just gone. I of course go into instant panic mode. Tears are quickly forming in my eyes as we are searching and I hear Cliff start saying something about the universe hating us right now. 😢
So there we were.. already emotionally drained and heartbroken and now our precious girl was missing which was the last thing in the world we needed at that moment. The yard is fenced on 3 sides and the 4th side is the lake/boat house but Righley is known for being a little escape artist.. so we drove around the neighborhood calling her name but came back to the house empty handed. We were getting nowhere in the dark so our only choice was to hope she found a safe place to be for the night and wait for sunrise.
It was pointless to try and sleep but we laid down to attempt to get some rest. About 10 minutes later I start hearing a howl that I thought was just wishful thinking in my head.. but then it got louder and I jumped out of bed because I knew it was her. I know that sound very well because every time an ambulance goes by our house, she lets out an impressive howl that has me convinced she is part wolf 🐺 Anyways.. after we ran outside, we knew what direction it was coming from but it was just darkness as far as we could see. Even with flashlights, it was impossible for us to do anything. She had stopped howling at this point but at least we knew she was alive and she was close.
The second it started to get light outside, we were up and ready to start the search. We let Mr. Echo out and as I am standing on the back porch, I look in the direction of her howl during the night and see the boat dock of the neighbors house. Miraculously, between the deck and the bottom of a chair, I saw a flash of what looked like part of her face. I screamed “RIGHLEY!!!!” and took off running. Cliff kept saying “Where?? Where??” but I was already down past our dock and running across the small walkway that connected to the neighbors. I raced past the chair and there was our happy, smiling, tail waging puppy dog sitting on the boat ramp. She had clearly jumped down there but the deck was too high up for her to jump out on her own and the boat was behind it blocking her escape to the lake. I picked her up and put her on the deck and we both ran back over to the house where Cliff and Mr. Echo were waiting. The arrow in this picture is pointing to the tiny space where I somehow saw her..
We decided she must have been scared by a loud noise and ran in the only direction she could. We thought the walkway was blocked off.. WRONG.. But really we didn’t care what caused it, we just celebrated that we got her back and we were not going to make that mistake again. After smothering both of our dogs with lots of love, we decided that maybe this was Gods way of telling us that our parenting skills are not up to par yet and that’s why our transfer didn’t work. Sounds logical right??
Regardless of the reason, one thing was made very clear to me. Even though we felt like crawling into a hole somewhere until we felt better, life wasn’t going to stop. When you get your hopes and dreams crushed, the world doesn’t just wait for you to feel like joining it again. Yes we had this terrible thing happen and we needed time to deal with that but part of healing is continuing to move forward with life. Its still hard at times and I have had a few random cry sessions in the last 3 weeks but hey.. I’m a girl full of WAY too many hormones.. crying is going to happen.🤷🏼♀️
I actually started this post a week ago but couldn’t find the right words to explain anything. When I started writing this it went something like.. blah blah blah → cry session → incoherent sentence typing → mini cry session.. and that’s when I decided to wait on posting lol So now that I’ve gathered myself and can type in complete sentences, here’s where we are..
Overall, we are doing much better. We have decided to move forward with IVF round #2 immediately and that’s mostly because we don’t want to give my body the chance to grow any stupid fibroids. Oh and we are impatient.. cant forget that. But of course that comes with its own challenges. The last blood work I did came back with elevated prolactin levels so I have been on meds for the past 2 weeks to try and get that normalized. My blood work tomorrow will determine if we move forward next week or if we have to cancel and wait another month. Hmmm… its almost like I’ve been here before 🤦🏼♀️
I’ll be honest, I have a lot more I feel I need to say about all of this but I will save it for another post. This one is already longer than I expected and if you are anything like me, my attention span can only hold on for so long lol I promise not to take 3 weeks for an update on all the things and hopefully I’ll have good news to share this weekend!
But as for tomorrow.. Come on prolactin.. I demand you calm it down a level! Thanks ♥
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