Are you sure????

My second time around with a transfer day was just as exciting as the first except this time I didn’t experience it alone. My mom got to come with me and she even got a video of the whole thing! No not a video of my lady parts.. that would be weird.. she got a video of the ultrasound monitor that showed the embryos being transferred. It was mostly for Cliff to see since he couldn’t be there but its also just a cool thing to have. It was an awesome experience and I am glad she was there for it. 🙂 Cody was extra excited about this transfer and even dressed up for the occasion! If everyone else is wearing a hair cap and booties, shouldn’t he be too? He likes to feel included..

After the transfer, I went home and sat around with my feet in the air. I know its not medically necessary or even helpful to do that but it made me feel a lot better. Anything to make me less crazy right??

See! Totally normal response.. That was one of the things that got to me during my wait after the first transfer. Obviously the first transfer didn’t work but what I took away from it was that driving myself crazy wondering if I was pregnant was the last thing I should be doing. Luckily I didn’t have time to sit around and go crazy after this one. 2 days after the transfer I was on an airplane (doctor approved of course) and headed to California for a family event. ✈️It was a quick trip but it kept my brain from tricking me like it is SO good at doing.

I kept myself decently calm for the remaining week I had to wait with the exception of one thing. About 2 days before I was supposed to go for my blood test, I woke up and realized I felt the same as I did last time. The.. exact.. same.. 😕 And that was when I decided to start preparing for my doctor to tell me once again that I wasn’t pregnant. I was so sure the first time I that was pregnant and it crushed me to find out it was all in my head. I was not going to let my brain do that to me again. I told Cliff how I felt so it wouldn’t be a shock to him either.

The day of truth finally arrived and I was up and at the blood work place early.. along with a thousand other people. I’ve been there so many times and never seen more than 4-5 people in the waiting room. Its the most important day for me so OF COURSE its standing room only. 🙄 Anyways.. when I finally got out of there I headed to a work meeting. I work from home but our company has quarterly meetings together and yes it fell on this all important day.

Sitting around a large table discussing work things actually made me forget what I was waiting on until my phone buzzed and “Dr. K’s Office” was staring me in the face. I left the room, took a deep breath, and answered the phone. I was ready. I was ready to hear the heartbreaking news that I wasn’t pregnant again. What I wasn’t ready for was what I heard next, “Danae.. you have a positive pregnancy test.”

So what do I do with that information? Through the start of tears I say possibly the dumbest thing to my doctor I could have, “Are you sure???” He of course said yes and explained that they like to see numbers above 50 and mine came back at 143. I was pregnant. I AM pregnant. 😆 He told me I needed to do another blood test in 2 days to make sure my numbers were increasing but that he was so happy to be able to call with the good news after everything I had been through. Once again, what do I say to him? “Are you sure???” 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was in such shock that those were the only words I could get out of my mouth. He kind of laughed and told me to hang up the phone and call Cliff and that he would call me once he got the results of the next blood test.

Since Cliff works in the oil field, his schedule is all over the place and he happened to be on nights that day. So even though it was the afternoon for me, it was technically the middle of the night for him. But I didn’t care! I facetimed him, woke him up, and felt like I practically screamed at him that we were going to be parents! 😄😄😄😄 He was excited and also in shock but I told him I loved him and to go back to bed and call me when he got up. Yeah.. like he was supposed to go back to sleep after that kind of news!

The good part was that he was scheduled to come home the next day so he got to go with me to my next blood work and was there when we got the phone call that my numbers had almost tripled in 2 days. We had an ultrasound scheduled for 2 weeks and they told us we should be able to hear a heartbeat. Our baby’s heartbeat. 💓 This was literally a dream come true. I wanted to tell the entire planet the good news but it was still so early, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Part of me was still scared. If I announced this to the world and then there was no heartbeat at the ultrasound, I would have to tell everyone about a miscarriage and I couldn’t put myself in that situation. So we decided to wait and only told family. And I spent the next 2 weeks secretly terrified that I was going to have an early miscarriage. 😞 After everything we had put my body through, all the surgeries, the medications, the shots, all the nonsense. The only thing I could do was pray that little baby defied all the odds and kept growing.

Don’t worry.. this story has a happy ending. On October 8th, we heard our baby’s heart beating for the first time. 😍 It was the most beautiful sound and was absolutely amazing to see. Baby Litherland looked like a little bean with a heartbeat attached to it. And a strong heartbeat at that! Cliff got to be home for the appointment and we just held each other and stared at the screen. We were finally able to see the reason why we never gave up after all these years of struggling. But none of that matters anymore because FINALLY.. Operation Baby Litherland has a heartbeat! ♥